I was out with a guy friend several weeks ago and he mentioned to me (like several other guys I’ve seen say on Facebook, or say in passing) – “I need a Michelle Obama.” And to this day, I have to admit that it strikes a nerve for me for several different reasons.
After several interactions of the
like and conversations with a diverse set of women - men have become some of
the most complicated creatures walking these streets. “Why would you say this
Anne?” you may be wondering or “Silly girl, men are simple!” you may say at
this statement but to sum it up a LOT of guys
fall into the following category:
If it walks like a duck, quacks
like a duck, and waddles like a duck – it is…
A man!
[And you were just a byproduct of the whimsical ways of his egotistical need to feel special and be cuddled.]
If it moves like a boat, sounds
like a boat, and looks like a boat – it is
A marine vehicle that happens to
be on the water at the time you are looking at it.
[Because the “situation”
calls for raising anchor at ANY time leaving you high & dry]
*situation as stated here, is
inclusive of girlfriends, baby mamas, and still fresh love scars*
To speak to the duck analogy, too
many guys (and the women who allow them to and accept the fakery) are extremely
content with calling you everyday, seeing you frequently enough, and bedding
you but NOT BEING THE BOYFRIEND. We’ve ALL experienced the “I’m not looking for
a relationship – yet I act like that with you all the time, but can’t commit
because I wanna have some slides on the side” phenomenon.
The boat analogy represents just
how they get you – under the guise of technicalities. Since when was TIME
reduced to a technicality?? Nowadays though as a woman – you genuinely can’t
call it how you SEE it. Guys have mastered the art of not being held
accountable for their actions since if they TELL you something else you should
just go by what they SAY NOT what they DO!
But for ALL the men who CLAIM to
be looking for their FLOTUS’ there are some seemingly known facts to us women
that it may behoove you to learn so that you understand the gravity of what you’re
SAYING. Especially since we women can’t go based off what you do right? And
especially because I know PLENTY of strong, career-oriented women with
standards – who are SINGLE and could rock plenty worlds IF that was TRULY what
males were seeking. So, here are some facts.
- When Barack met Michelle at Sidney Austin Law Firm, SHE was his SUPERIOR. Meaning she was his boss…and he’s been known to admit plenty of times that Michelle runs it in the house (“he doesn’t like to hang up his socks” << lol).
*MEN if you SAY
you want a Michelle Obama please, and I mean PLEASE don’t get with/stay with a
girl you KNOW isn’t running anything/doing anything major/serious with her life…in
other words don’t expect a champagne miss on an Old E budget with your broad.
Of course this is assuming YOU have set high standards for yourself and are
professionally working on something great and WANT a badass lady holding you
down…if you want the “Lay Down” woman that’s okay too – just truthfully
acknowledge what you want.
- Michelle refused Barack even a chance at getting at her and dismissed him in the “friend zone” at first. Everything he tried didn’t work, but he was PERSISTENT. It used to be that men liked the “thrill of the chase” and “the challenge”…in these times it’s exactly the opposite on appearance. Easy girls get the attention >the penis> and ultimately the package deal b/c it’s EASY.
*MEN if you SAY
you want a Michelle Obama just be AWARE that you will HAVE TO WORK TO GET HER.
Think about it, if I had a dollar for EVERY time a guy told me he “liked me”
without any proof and went on to become a Houdini I would have at least a Ben
Franklin in my wallet right now. Words aren’t enough b/c you guys say one thing
and do another too much to be held simply at your word by any woman who has the
privilege of having common sense. An educated, business-minded woman is
definitely NOT just falling for the okey-doke and already has her wall in
place. Don’t believe me: watch this brief video on the first couple’s firstdate.
- Barack had to pass a few “standardized tests” to get in good. In this case I’m talking about the MAR test. Yes I’ve created this term because guys although you may not know this, educated women with standards have their ways of MEASURING your success and I call it the Manhood Achievement Ratio. Everyone’s MAR is different. Michelle has brothers and her father was able to set the MAR test based on Barack’s playing on the court with her brother.
But I can tell
you that on most lady’s MARs the
following is almost a given: OPENING doors (not just trying to hold the damn
door AFTER I’ve already pulled it b/c you didn’t THINK you had to do that); the
QUALITY of the first date (and if you paid); your testosterone-induced
capabilities (the manly stuff) aka the sugar-in-the-tank-o-meter (less is
DEFINITELY more!); and how you feel about/treat your mother/sisters/family. The
MAR is a standardized way to tell where you’re at in the spectrum and Michelle
was ready to dismiss if Barack didn’t pass muster. Check out Obama’s Test.
*MEN is you SAY you want a
Michelle Obama you WILL BE TESTED. I’m not saying you will have to sit down and
fill in a bubble sheet, but just know that your actions are being scrutinized
through that MAR filter of ours…Did you walk her home or to a safe locale after
the date? Were you genuinely interested in HER or are you just trying to get
the draws? Women like Michelle KNOW the difference and VERY quickly so I
suggest if you’re used to acting like a duck and being a man you find some
congruence in what you say and how you act because she’s watching.
Lastly, I think I have to sum all
this up by saying there are a TON of educated, strong women out there who are
very capable of loving and want to be a First Lady to a Leading Man. But where
are these leading men?? I’ve had the pleasure of attending an Ivy League school
and I know that there is a population of men who don’t want the type of woman
Michelle is – she’s a BAWSE and she RUNS IT. But it isn’t like she doesn’t HOLD
HIM DOWN. When you watch FLOTUS
on Leno you see it (and there are countless examples out there).
Barack KNEW he WANTED that and he
WENT AFTER IT. It’s so easy to say “I want this” or “I’m looking for that” and
point to an example of what it is without WORKING FOR IT. Work is never
painless and you have to know thyself to really demand certain things with authenticity.
So to all those guys who SAY they want a Michelle. Are you a Barack???
An Addendum to
Above: Quotes from POTUS About His First Lady
"It is important that when I'm home to make sure that
I'm present and I still forget stuff. As Michelle likes to say, 'You are a good
man, but you are still a man.' I leave my socks around. I'll hang my
pants on the door. I leave newspapers laying around. But she lets me know when
I'm not acting right. After 14 years, she's trained me reasonably well."
"What I realize as I get older is that Michelle is less
concerned about me giving her flowers than she is that "I’m doing things
that are hard for me -- carving out time. That to her is proof, evidence that
I'm thinking about her. She appreciates the flowers, but to her romance is that
I'm actually paying attention to things that she cares about, and time is
always an important factor."
Source: Lynn Norment, Ebony, "The Hottest Couple
in America",
February 2007, pages 52-54
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