Ann-E is Real, She Don't "Bug" Out

Even though a new year is upon us the n*ggas are still out chere running amok.and even though it happens to the best of us - the n*ggadom MUST be identified and made known as a shared experience.

The start of our story is where many of us have been left. I was a smitten kitten who had been snubbed. Normally this is where the story would end. Since I hadn't given up all the goods I could still walk away with yet another unresolved case of WTF-happened mind-fuckery even though I was hurt. As a smitten kitten, I went hard in the paint and based on the accompanying loin-stirrings that are very elusive to me in general - the method in which I got snubbed had me tighter than a virgin..and sadder than a virgin who loses it to a total asshole. 

"It happens to the best of us" is what my team consoled me with. "It's not you, you did nothing wrong." The one thing I did take solace in is that my team was actually proud of me in the male department (well kinda, but small strides!) I mean I did and have come a long way from actually not even putting n*ggas through the ringer for the sake of the short-term attention but damn. N*ggadom is cold and spares no feelings...especially those of the smitten & sensitive. As I prepared to just kick rocks and chalk it up after being all sad and shit - it hit me as I caught the only visual of the last time I was at ol n*gga's crib. This n*gga who from herein will be referred to as the SKK (smitten-kitten killer) had something that belonged to me.

Now I'm going to make this crystal clear - what he had was something that I plan on using for my nonprofit and it took me time to accumulate these things - over a year and lots of magazines. It wasn't some draws I could buy at Vicky's for $3.99 during the semi-annual sale, or some costume jewelry, or a pencil case, or some make-up. This stuff was in my Gilded Gold UPenn folder. The contents within were not about to take up an extra 20 hours of my life when the SKK couldn't part with 2 minutes of his own to text me back and actually make good on the 3 attempts I made in earnest to reclaim what was rightfully mine.The SKK know good and damn well he ain't and will never be a Quaker - and I take my Penn para to heart.  I wasn't charging my shit to the game. And anyone that knows me, knows I take my time & my business VERY serious. He actually quipped one time "I don't want no problems with Ms. Anne." But in the land of n*ggadom words hold little weight and showing your ass to nice people is how it does down. But I was still cordial in my attempts because that's just how I do.

I thought about the possible routes I could take. I just wanted my folder & its contents and surely I wanted it before the new year so this chapter could end. Since the SKK would never answer the phone - I mean just asking and dealing with his ass like a human being who has fingers and a vocal cord wouldn't work at this point. After being snubbed and not getting any responses to my text messages (which for the record is O-D disrespectful, my #1 pet peeve, and unwarranted) I had to go with the method that I knew would yield the result I needed just to get my shit. 

So all of the above (plus some other egregious n*ggadom that shall remain omitted) and my thought process in parenthesis is what led to this alleged "bugged the f*ck out" that the SKK thought he was accusing me of: (but really was guilty of).

Attempt #1: (a very SPECIFIC request for a nice and quick transaction) Hey, can you let me know a day and time when I can get my folder and I'll come and get that. Thanks. (via Facebook because n*gga I know you seen my message, so you can't bullsh*t you're way w/my stuff forever)

Response #1: "You can get it whenever you want" (the SKK happened to be a year younger than me and I shoulda known confound it! How you reply to something specific w/something vague - games :-/)

Attempt #2 (Part 1): okay I'm going to come today, Sunday at 7pm to pick it up (no n*gga I'm not coming after hours b/c I just want my stuff and I'll be out of your life) ~message seen at 10:42am

Me at 6pm via text (since now an appointment has been established we can revert to the method which yielded no response before) I'm on my way just running a little late (still being polite! Damn She's a nice girl!)

the SKK: "On your way where?....Yikes I'm on my way out of town"

Me (WTF?! Yousa a real n*gga so I'ma try this one more gain) Can you let me know a specific day and time to get this? (I used the word this time so his educated yet n*gga mind could compute) 

the SKK: "I'll ket you know when I'm back" (mind you there was a phone call that he never made good on making so I was already skeptical but would you trust a person like this to f*ck with the postal service on your behalf? Never mind my battles with mail ::rolls eyes::)

Attempt #3: the SKK hit me up, but I was on a date so I replied the following day bright and early with my nicely packaged focus on getting my stuff. The set up was made, the SKK hits me with the curve talking about he has plans and to come after work...I agree (eyes on the prize). It's 5 minutes to quitting time and the SKK is texting with the "pressure" about how he has to dip in 45 minutes.

(REALLY?! It took a lot after a non-answered phone call to just get a damn arrangement in place and a text with MY original plan to get my stuff Guess it sounded "better when he said it". :-/)

Later this evening arrives and the team is already aware that I'm getting my shit. You see the problem when n*ggas meet real is that they don't honor their word and my word is bond. I text before I showed up but since I got no response I went according to the plan. 

It was late - I'll admit that, but karma had it for me that the doors were open :-). So I went in said good evening to the SKK's boy, saw his lady friend's bag, knocked on his door twice, didn't look him in the face and asked for my stuff with my hand out. I bid them ado and left. No scene was caused, no one was checking to see who the SKK was smashing cuz I know I certainly don't care, no yelling ensued, but I did as was PLANNED - and the SKK didn't. 

As long as this post is, a fair amount has been omitted. All those attempts and for what? I have no idea. My logic is if the SKK was gonna snub, snub right and give me what was mine if getting me gone was the goal.  Or is control that hard to come by that you really have to do this with MY belongings and at the expense of a lot more wasting of MY time? You already got some new 'nani so it couldn't possibly be that. Apparently the SKK felt some type of way about it, since he thought he could come out of his face (like most n*ggas) and try to "tell me about myself" when I know he didn't know me well enough to even have a say. 

But because I know what it is, it happen way too often, and because it's important to be clear that I will not let anyone try to place their n*ggadom on me - let this account show that Ann-E is real and I don't "bug the f*ck out." 

A Very Special Independence Day

On this July 4th, while tons of people are out enjoying BBQ's, the sunshine, and people are running the streets, I will be celebrating my own independence. From what you may ask? Well I've finally come the conclusion that hard workers are seldom wont to believe.

I COME BEFORE ANY JOB/EMPLOYER. This may seem like a given, but in reality it's not at all something that is easy to accept, or live. Now in my post before this I made it clear that I'm a "do-er" I've been known to vent to my friends about issues and problems, etc. BUT I've also been known to take matters into my own hands with some semblance of a plan and act. Which is what I decided to do, and why I'll be making the long drive back to NYC starting tonight. A fitting independence day for me since I've freed myself of the shackles of the unglorified, ungrateful work environment that I caught myself working in.

Now I love the Americorps program because you do learn a lot of skills, but make no mistake, I was BROKE here in Dallas. Effectually this is kind of an oxymoron since shit here is generally cheaper than a lot of other places. But having to gas up Candy everytime I wanted to go across town (where everything happened to be in my last few months of living here) became whack. Now I am a social person by nature, but living across the country you kind of learn to manuever around the shortcomings of your surroundings and the people therein. Case and point, everyone needs to "plan" to hang out :-/ um okay so you relaly mean to tell me I need to pencil something in with ppl just to chill. Lamitos. I'm not saying everything should be spontaneous but #c'monson. This false sense of necessity is so...unecessary. Then the disrespect at work started. Normally I'll go into details but all I'll say is, after all the work I did for these ungrateful people, they had me confused because they kept telling ME how sweet a deal I had with THEM. Now I'm REALLY not into the "rubbin shit in" thing. Especially when ppl think they know but they have NO idea.

My bills could barely get paid, I had no social life, I was clocking 45 hours a week on average making no money, living with other ppl who were not as clean as me, and had to deal with yall on Saturday too. What kind of sweat deal is that for me? Being broke with no life. Then I really think they had me confused with a black worker in the Reconstruction era. When I thought about all that was said to me unprofessionally, my professional experiences, and looked at my bank account I had enough. Truly, though when the Executive Director called me a "brilliant underachiever" I REALLY knew, they had no fuckin idea, who they were dealing with. So once I spoke to my TX support team, I decided it was time to boogie. Because I had already had things going on but they were vaguely aware of that the seed was already planted. So let's just say I had a family emergency that warranted my immediate return home.

Just like that. I took 2 days off, went in on Wednesday and Thursday and the ED gave me Friday to finish moving. Loved it. See, I've heard a lot of stories - especially as of late, with ppl who say "girl I got let go" no notice, no time to plan, no sympathy. Why should my loyalty lie with a bunch of ingrates who truly believed they were doing me a favor when in reality I sacrificed to be there for them? You should NEVER UNDERVALUE YOURSELF JUST FOR A JOB. They would never be on my level in any way, and really the bitch was about to omnipresent in my everything. So instead of creating a major misunderstanding because THEY misunderstood ME (but thought they knew me) I decided to cut the ties amicably by telling a lie.

I already asked God to forgive me, but most people can't handle the truth and it be's like that sometimes fo'real. Employers are probably closer to the top caste of the most sensitive ppl out there. And if they're scorned there goes your recommendation. Knowing the environment I was in, it wasn't a culture of independent ppl who made it on their own. They were used to ppl needing them, depending on them, and for most of my life I've depended on myself to make it. Not a good fit if you see what I mean. That's why they thought they "I had it pretty good" and that's why they assumed they could talk to me and say whatever asinine shit popped into their heads. No sir. Not I. So I left, in good standing, and got my freedom before July 4th :-)

I thought about giving 2 weeks - then I thought about spending the money to get there for those two weeks. Nah. Not gonna happen. Then I thought about what they would try and have me do before I left. Nah. Definitely not gonna happen. I had already created a bunch of how tos and so for me it was not only a natural time to break away, but one of the biggest tasks of my job was complete. I was done. I left at the most opportune time for me.

It took me a decade (I've been working since I was 14 years old) to truly have the security within myself to up and leave something that isn't working for me. Because trust me when employers feel it isn't working for them - they don't even stick a fork in you because you're just DONE. And now they are too in my book. I'm too talented, too intelligent, and too loved by my peoples to stay here in this place dealing with some bullshit. So, I'll be back running the streets that I'm familiar with and where people's hustles are at least giving the respect they deserve by those who notice.

Young workers of the world unite, it's a new day and either you're a lay down getting rolled over or you're finding the way to power your own steamroller....I'm about to turn that key what you do is up to you...