Hello, my name is Anne and this is my first public admonition of going to therapy....
I've always been fascinated by things. I mean we do live in a materialistic culture so I guess my affinity for "stuff" was probably well-formulated by all my years of watching television (much worse has been known to happen because of watching TV though). I also have always been very observant. So when I rode the train with my mom I would look around and see snippets of "cool" things I would want when I got older. Bags, shoes, earrings, trinkets. Just stuff.
As I got older, I worked to attain the "cool" stuff I wanted. And when my check was gone I would get my guy cousin Jr. to commiserate in my love for THE sneaker or pair of Tims I just HAD to stunt with. And so it was that growing up, things became a fascination and I slowly acquired things that people found "cool" and "cute" and "pretty."
Now also having fought the good debt fight quite early, I realized that I had a shopping problem. So I reigned that in with a sprinkle of common sense - "how many red, POINTY shoes do you REALLY need?" A smattering of restraint - "I'm not going to the mall, downtown OR any stores!" And a dash of reality - "WHERE are you going to put all of this STUFF?" That fared pretty well for a good stretch, but after a relocation, some bouts of isolation, boredom, frustration and loneliness I sought therapy in things.
I think I would be a great candidate to see a shrink for many reasons BUT I think I've got my therapy in things pretty well analyzed and to be quite frank, I've gotten some pretty fly shit during my "therapy" trips. I always stick to my main rule: NEVER pay RETAIL/ONLY ON SALE! And I also make sure to keep stock that I'm not adding a trillionth pointy shoe to the collection. So why do it? What's the point of seeking therapy in things?
#1: Things are ALWAYS there for you. Things aren't the dependent variable, they're the independent variable. The ONE constant in my personal world of change and compromise. It's not like things can get up and walk away, reschedule, skip out on dates, not call you back.
#2: Things make me feel good. I always wanted to be "the girl with the cool stuff" and in my mind I LOVE being that girl. I think to some extent my affinity for things has taken shape quite healthy & nicely. Whenever I get my baubles during one of my therapy sessions there is a void that is filled. The therapy-inducing incident(s) may not go away but I'll be damned if I'm not excited about stuntin in my new shoes, wearing my new perfume, or hitting the town with my boss bitch dress. I love making additions to my home decor as well :-)
#3: It's a distraction with long-term benefits. Looking for things, buying things, thinking about things, are all ways to get my mind off the situations that I am tired of dealing with. Not that I'm a sweep under the rug kind of chick, but I am an OVER-thinker kind of chick. If rumination was a sport I would be a champion of champions. So it's a good thing to step back from the sometimes all-consuming, introspective vortex that certain incidents induce in my mind.
This past weekend I bought 1 pair of tan Steve Madden shoes, 1 pair of black suede clog-wedge peep-toes (they look MUCH cuter than they sound), and some gold Marc Jacobs rain boots.
I figured if I'm going to be dealing with the flood gates I might as well do it in style and stunt!
Hi. My name is Anne. I seek therapy in things and I'm perfectly okay with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment