I am so thankful I don’t hang around people who don’t talk about shit. You know those people. All the talk about is baby mama drama, some new kicks, niggas, money, bitches, hood gossip, and Lord knows what else could be so intriguing about NOTHING.
I wish I could say I spend countless hours trying to solve this eternal mystery but because I don’t frequent the coop to get the latest chicken grease this thought has only crossed my mind a few times when I hear snippets of those convos.
Nigga. What exactly do you DO?
What is your raison d’être to be on this fuckin block. Like the stoop holds itself up. Does Q’s (who’s real name is unknown to you and forbids him from having a job that pays more than $40K/yr if that) baby mama and kids even care about YOU and your kicks?
I can’t.
“For all the things we must do, doing is the first step”
The Nike slogan never appealed to me until I turned 25 years old, had even more time to think about myself, and took a survey of those around me.
Those who I chill with;
those who I’ve left behind – but FB reminds me of their domesticated lives;
those who I’ve had to unfriend because - my nigga you aint talking about SHIT on here. And when I get there you won’t be buying my products like that.
Look I’m just saying what yall know yall be thinking when yall see those comment threads from elementary school with you tagged from class 313, 412 at PS-whatever…I had NO COMMENT for that thread cuz I can’t be bothered with the past…
But I do focus every now and then on my friends now. I just have to say that I have a phenomenal set of friends. And this is not the type of fake, valley girl Like. OMG! My friends are AWESOME! Nah they’re all intelligent, goal-oriented, responsible, but fun young ladies who can throw down if a bitch come out her face but we don’t do that because we grown type thing and eat sushi and have mimosas and go to brunch type girls.
All my friends stay in their lanes as I do and make it do what it do. Disclaimer being said, I’m still just a do-er. Now I truly believe that I am very different than most people. Who ups and moves clear across the country because the internet said there’s black single guys (yeah that was one of the reasons I’m not even gonna put myself on frontstreet.net) and to be a teacher? Who else goes to Belgium to live for 2 months to learn French?
I’m not tooting my own horn. On the contrary I’ve just come to realize that, those things that I do which are weird – even to me, are because I’m a DOER. Once I put something into the universe AT LEAST 3 times I HAVE to do it.
It’s just this thing I’ve developed from reading The Secret and being really faithful in God’s power to see me through some ::Flamin’ gay bestie voice:: hot ass messes.
Being a doer is about pulling the trigger. I often use the shopping analogy when it comes to this. Being a recovering shopaholic but always a savvy shopper, the best purchases are those that you know through experience and analytics present a deal that you’ll miss if you don’t buy right then and there.
When I decided to move to Texas for example, it made sense because I could at least get a job and live a cost effective life where I would get to actually use the car I was paying for… Even if I was relegated to poverty! A steal in the best of places considering I have not been out of work for long stints since being here (vs. almost 2 yrs in NYC).
When I took my position as an Americorps VISTA, although I knew it wouldn’t make me rich – I knew the opportunity itself would bring about things that I could never have asked for even if I had a higher paying job. I also had no other prospect at the time and after praying to God, we decided that I was right at the bullseye and had to pull the trigger.
I’ve found that a lot of my friends ask why? Or they don’t see the immediate gratification or justification for doing something when the opportunity presents itself. This may be for several reasons and I’m not knocking them. They make it do what it do and it works their way. I’m just saying “It aint me”
My whole thing is why NOT? I don’t have any kids and I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m trying to LIVE before life becomes bottles, homework, and couples dinners like “I Love My Wife.” I already do Dinner and TV so I’m well on the way of being domesticated, but
being free is my motivation to do AS MUCH AS I CAN sans attachments.
But I’m also not as afraid of commitment once the trigger’s been pulled. And my friends know because they heard me cry in the roughest moments of making the move here. They’ve seen me flip out, panic, and bawl when my car got towed.
I damn sure wasn’t gonna sell my car like the lady at the NYC Finance Office suggested. I know for DAYUM sure I wasn’t moving back to NYC to live with
::GASP::
::EGADS::
My MOTHER & ‘EM.
That comment has so much gravity it’s already halfway to the center of the earth lol…
I don’t have any quit in me. That’s why I got fired from the school I was working at (well that’s not WHY but once I have more readers who DON’T know what went down I’ll elaborate in this forum…maybe lol)
Sometimes for better or for worse you have to ::Starksy and Hutch moment:: “Do it…c’mon doo iitt”
Usually it ends up for the better, but life is all about the adventure. From living it (like being stopped ON FOOT by the Carrollton Police in TX) to recounting it (attending a show inside the Sydney Opera House), and best of all – remembering it all for me and for my kids.
I would love to say that I have no regrets…but some of the men that have come through the revolving door could have never came to store lol…but all-in-all it was for a time, it was an adventure and I love me some adventures.
Hell not everyone can say that they LIVE life. From the way I look at it, you can approach it in 2 ways.
Life can be a noun and you can just sit in the shit, letting routine, predictability, monotony and complacence run you.
Or
Life can be a verb where you actually DO, LIVE, SEE, ACT, and indulge in the things that make you different from the people you surround yourself around.
The choice is yours, but I’m gonna have to keep on doing…it’s the only way I know how to stay sane.
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