I wrote this back in August 2010. 2 months after I first moved to Dallas. Now, as I come up on my 1 year anniversary of moving to Dallas (June 2nd), I’ve tucked away the GPS (and consequently stopped wasting buckets of gasoline going the longest way possible), have settled in after a few moves, and have gotten accustomed to my home (for now…). I just wanted to share this with my readers, many of whom have relocated to a place that as we all learn upon leaving the city, so drastically different from NY. Enjoy!
It is 2:53am Central Standard Time (3:53am in BK) and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to chronicle the tales of this young dame from ye county of Kings who packed up, with her reliable chariot Candy and moved to Dallas, TX. I don’t know why I thought insomnia would elude me in the south, especially whilst crashing at a friend’s house but here ye chronicles begin…
I guess considering I’ve come to terms with my decision to stay in Dallas after the throws of extreme brokenness almost made me haul ass, I’ll start by laying the smacketh down on the rundown that Texan and New Yorkers keep asking me. ..”Why Texas?” I grew up in BK, Flatbush (Bullet. Bullet. Bull horn and insert all other bashment sound effects here) to be exact and while I will ALWAYS refer to my town as the best place on Earth I had to boogie. I was about to finish grad school in May and after making unemployment work for me since 2009 with a nicely Haitian-decorated apartment with all the trappings - I mean I felt like Empire State of Mind a little bit “if you could make it here you could make it anywhere”…then reality set in as graduation loomed off in the distance 5 months away…(Type A MOST certainly fits me like a glove)
Graduation with a Master’s in tow, in a job sector that doesn’t pay, unemployment drying out, and worst of all things having to store ALL my shit I mean bags, clothes, shoes, dvds, furniture, house décor ALLLLLA that (don’t forget to check the sanity, privacy, and freedom at the storage facility too) and MOVE BACK HOME. “EGADS WOMAN!” I thought to myself way back in December 2009/January 2010 as the thought ruminated over and over in my head. Hell. 2. Tha. Na….Now I’m not saying everyone is in that situation, but having been out of the house since I graduated in 2007 it was just something I knew I had to do…Plus let’s not play around with serious facts.
New York City has about 90% of its residents in a vice grip of hypnotism. The convenience. The party life EVERY. NIGHT. OF. THE. WEEK. The pace. The diversity in NYC NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE is a minority. Did I mention the convenience? --Insert strong arm here.
And while I love NYC for those reasons, the MTA is legitimately trippin –less trains & buses + more mone = no bueno; When you have a car (that never really left Flatbush considering how long I had it) EVERYTHING is convenient.
Imagine if you will life without the following
::obnoxious hood-booger blasting some 1990s unheardofgangstarap music/or some old ass song that was hot years ago from a small telephone’s speakerphone::
::the loudest conversation about Taquita and her baby daddy and ‘em and how someone owed someone money, the kids need mad shit but “that nigga swear I won’t roll up on his shit..” conversation you could very well do without::
::coughing/sneezing/stinking ALLS up in your area and invasion of your personal space::
::people pushing past you because they have to be somewhere that doesn’t matter, and ironically still get the “DING. DING” as the train doors close in there face::
Actually pause right there---that scenario is actually hilarious as hell (until you’re the one on the side of the door watching your perfectly time arrival roll away) and now we’re in play mode again …
::sadiddy bitch at the front of a club who you know has nowhere near an IQ as high as yours because her job is to hold the clipboard and act important controlling your fate and enjoyment for the evening::
From what I could tell and 1 ½ years of looking – I wasn’t going to find a job in NYC and if I did I wouldn’t have been happy doing it. Especially at the rate of pay they’re offering us young folk. So after consistently reading those “Top 10 Cities for Young People,” “Top 10 Cities That Are Growing” etc. Dallas kept coming up. Reading is fundamental kids!
But I also know that coming from NYC I had to be honest with where I could go and make a new life for myself without trying to A) off myself B) drive back to BK feeling defeated (although I was almost there a couple of times…another story, another day maybe) and C) I could find me some Black mens….yeah I said it. I moved for the prospects of the mens…As a single young whippersnapper I had to come where the potential could be met without DTM (doing too much – blog pending).
So I applied to do this teaching alternative certification program and was accepted. 1 TFA denial, 1 Teach New Orleans denial, some cash drop, a 30 hour drive, fast forward almost 2-months and extreme brokeness and here I am. More importantly here’s what I’ve learned about the Big D (as they call it).
Everything is s p r e a d l i k e m u s t a r d. I mean average driving time to any one place is about 20-25 minutes but it could really be more depending on where in Dallas you are, where you’re coming from and all that. There is also about 3-4+ ways to get to one location but since I’m still wasting gas listening to that old GPS talking about “Make a U turn if possible” it’s still a learning curve.
Texas is conservative. Example: sitting in IHOP with my Sorors and using that Sailor’s Language which ebbs and flows… I dropped some hot f-bombs, and the like the po-po rolled up on me and said “Mam, ::raises eyebrows at the thought that such a little PYT such as myself was bringing the rain like desert storm apparently:: I’m gonna need you to stop cussin’ cuz if somebody tells me something I can arrest youu…” I stopped listening after the po-po told me to “stop cussin’”
Example 2: There are dry counties here. I mean the liquor store closes at 9. Dry county. I seen a black dude fully suited flying out of his car, with his jacket flying like Batman’s cape – to buy some wine at 8:55. Dry county. Trucks zooming in the parking lot to get liqs & wasted - dry county. Walmart stops selling wine at 12am dry county….yeah…what’s a lush to do but stock up with $3 wines from Walmart?
Speaking of, Walmart is King! ::Young Jeezy Voice:: “And I love it!” Wine, make-up, food, undies, toothpaste, pads…I mean it’s HEAVEN. I’m convinced that any European that has the privilege of going to a 24-hour Super Walmart will go in with wide-eyed amazement at the plethora of assortment available. Anyhow I digress…
Texas is the land of the truck. So my chariot is very happy here! I mean people have monster trucks from those commercials! On these streets though, they drive WORSE than NYC and are CRAZY tailgaters too
But I’ve come to like it here for many reasons including:
1. Dallas and the surrounding areas are probably just about the only places I’ve been to where you can be shopping at the mall and in 30 minutes passing by some cows and horsing grazing on some bright green grass…Like whaaatt?
2. Although I’m too broke to capitalize on it now, man oh man the shopping is so that any recovering shopaholic (like myself) will just have to avoid even going to these places. There are 2.2 stores for every ONE person (so I’ve heard and living here I believe it) so you can imagine.
3. Happy hour is different in that it’s not the club scene (a-la NYC happy hours on a Wednesday night) but damn so is that BILL! You can get White Boy Gucci Wasted out here for $15. $1 Margaritas, $2 wells, free food (tacos & quesadillas). You just can’t go wrong.
4. Texas is one of the few states where one only pays FEDERAL tax…i.e. taking home MY MONEY ::Kanye runs with the reel voice on Punk’d:: THIS MINE :-D and did I mention how cheap it is to just live here?
5. The people are just friendlier and have a better disposition. You’ll be (kind of) hard pressed to find a screw face at any store or establishment.
6. Last but certainly not least, there are TONS of things to do…I think the misconception is that I moved to some little place. It’s pretty poppin I mean I went to happy hour with a smorgasbord buffet better than endless shrimp @ Red Lobster club with $2 drinks…I’m definitely not mad!
All in all, I’m sticking it out here and happy doing it since stress is hard to come by when your apartment complex has a sparkling pool and you ride to your own tunes. As life goes, things happen but I got Ryders who hold me down and this experience reminds me of that Death March way back in Spring 2006. Marching into Wynn Commons with my face painted up, arms burning but giving it my all – with a gang of my sisters behind me and my loved ones in front cheering me on. Life was beautiful once that hood came off and it’s about to come off again, reaallll soon.
End Proclamation:
BK all day…but now BK is in Texas
Addendum list of what else I’ve learned about TX:
1. Everyone always has to “plan” to chill…..only a select few people I know here can just hang on the fly…definitely one thing I miss
2. Nobody carpools….I mean everyone lives in different places so it does get hairy when you do, but sometimes I actually don’t want to drive
3. People here don’t speak NYC car language i.e. they don’t honk their horns, blast their music real loud, or drive with the windows down
*I refuse to abandon my driver’s roots and break ALL these rules…these Texans have been introduced to Konpa, Dancehall, and ANYTHING I feel like bumping when I drive B-)
4. People here like to floss…Beamer, Benz or Bentley but live in apartment complexes, I mean it’s an oil state but chances are the ones with money are the ones you don’t see
5. There are cowboys here and they are gentlemen…but my quest for the mens only yielded losers, lames, and guys who would stare but not speak
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